I am new to blogging. I have chosen to write about Divorce and Family law matters here in Wisconsin because of the philosophy I have about divorce. It is my belief that the most important consideration in a divorce is your children. The effect that a divorce can have on a child is significant. See: "The Effects of Divorce on Children and How to Cope, Why Children are Impacted by Divorce" By Wayne Parker, About.com at http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/divorceddads/a/divorcekids.htm.
The hope is that by using attorneys who understand the effects which a divorce can have upon children you can diminish the effects that your divorce has on your child. That as a divorced parent myself, my philosophy is that the child is the most important concern when it comes to a divorce. It should be the primary focus of both parents is to do what is in the best interest of their child. The legal standard "best interest of the child" is somewhat subjective but if you just use some common sense you can figure out what it is. Just ask yourself if the decisions you are making are for your benefit or for your child. If you are honest with yourself the answer will be clear. If both parents and their attorneys keep this in mind during the divorce the effect that the divorce has on the child should be reduced. The fear of change and abandonment can be dealt with especially if both parents are mindful of these effects. This is not to say that a couple who is having major difficulties should stay together for the sake of the children. That has it's own set of harmful effects. (Topic for a different day).
Practically speaking, the times that each parent spends with the children is going to change due to the divorce and keeping the child from one parent can increase the negative effects. So it is a good idea to craft an agreement that takes the child's time with the parent into consideration. Not just the total days or hours with the parent but the quality of time. If one parent has the child during the week but works 60 hours a week and places the child in day care the result is that the child does not get to spend much time with their parent. The parent who is able to spend actual time with the child becomes the fun parent and the other becomes the task master.
Unfortunately, the family law in Wisconsin is set up so that the child support guidelines are based on the number of overnights a parent has with the child. And while finances can be a concern, especially in these trying economic times, it should not be the driving factor. Sad to say, that in my 15 years as an attorney, I have seen it become the main factor in many cases.
The best option is to try to work out a schedule that allows each parent to spend quality time with the child. This may require the parents to rearrange their schedule. Remember that regardless of the outcome you are going to have to deal with your ex spouse at least until your child is 18 and poisoning the well during the divorce is not to anyone's benefit.
The hope is that by using attorneys who understand the effects which a divorce can have upon children you can diminish the effects that your divorce has on your child. That as a divorced parent myself, my philosophy is that the child is the most important concern when it comes to a divorce. It should be the primary focus of both parents is to do what is in the best interest of their child. The legal standard "best interest of the child" is somewhat subjective but if you just use some common sense you can figure out what it is. Just ask yourself if the decisions you are making are for your benefit or for your child. If you are honest with yourself the answer will be clear. If both parents and their attorneys keep this in mind during the divorce the effect that the divorce has on the child should be reduced. The fear of change and abandonment can be dealt with especially if both parents are mindful of these effects. This is not to say that a couple who is having major difficulties should stay together for the sake of the children. That has it's own set of harmful effects. (Topic for a different day).
Practically speaking, the times that each parent spends with the children is going to change due to the divorce and keeping the child from one parent can increase the negative effects. So it is a good idea to craft an agreement that takes the child's time with the parent into consideration. Not just the total days or hours with the parent but the quality of time. If one parent has the child during the week but works 60 hours a week and places the child in day care the result is that the child does not get to spend much time with their parent. The parent who is able to spend actual time with the child becomes the fun parent and the other becomes the task master.
Unfortunately, the family law in Wisconsin is set up so that the child support guidelines are based on the number of overnights a parent has with the child. And while finances can be a concern, especially in these trying economic times, it should not be the driving factor. Sad to say, that in my 15 years as an attorney, I have seen it become the main factor in many cases.
The best option is to try to work out a schedule that allows each parent to spend quality time with the child. This may require the parents to rearrange their schedule. Remember that regardless of the outcome you are going to have to deal with your ex spouse at least until your child is 18 and poisoning the well during the divorce is not to anyone's benefit.
I agree with you about how hard it is when a family is divorce or a couple is broken up. I am in this situation right now. I have a lil 5yr who is going through it and no matter what I say to my ex-boyfriend, contiues to drill in my sons lil head about how his momma left his dad due to his color of skin. I'm so worried about how this is going to effect my son mentally. hardest part is we are 500miles away. Sad. if you have any advise please let me know, could use them.
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